What do we call material love in our world? What we call "love" in this world is simply the self-centered desire to enjoy the "beloved" object. So our love for something or someone is dependent upon whether or not our senses are being pleased.
For example, people generally love animals such as cats because of the sensual attraction to soft fur, or dogs because of the dog's desire to please the master. But, very few people are interested in embracing a cockroach, because a cockroach is displeasing to our senses. However, a cockroach is a living entity with feelings like any other due to its essential spiritual nature.
When we think that we are experiencing a loving mood with some other creature, we are illusioned because we are unaware of their consciousness which is not "at one" with ours. It is thinking of its own gratification.
When one loves Krishna, one will love all living entities equally and truly, because of the spiritual family relationship that is there. Krishna tells us that we are all His "parts and parcels", His sons and daughters. A devotee of Krishna has no hatred for any living entity, just pure, unselfish love.
A Krishna conscious person is able to properly express this unselfish love and benefit all living entities, because he is aware of their real self-interest. However others, even if they are well-intentioned, can never give any real help to the self--the soul in the body. Material help is temporary. Spiritual help is eternal.
The real self-interest of all living entities is Krishna consciousness.
The Modes of Nature by Krishna. The Bhagavad-gita informs us that all conditioned souls are forced to act helplessly by , the impulses born of the modes of material nature. The soul is thinking that he is acting by his own volition but in actuality the modes are shaping the soul's desires and actions.
There are three modes of nature: goodness, passion, and ignorance. According to the specific combination of the three modes that a soul is affected by, he acts accordingly. The three modes combine to provide the impulses for every conceivable type of activity in this world, just as the three primary colors can be combined to yield all the colors of the spectrum.
According to the combination of modes, one is attracted to certain types of eatables. For example, the pig is very enthusiastic to partake of stool (which human beings consider abominable), because the pig loves food in the mode of ignorance. Food in the mode of goodness is sweet, juicy, fattening, and palatable. Food in the mode of passion is too bitter, too sour, too salty, pungent, dry, and hot. Food in the mode of ignorance is decomposed, tasteless, stale, putrid, and unclean (such as meat).
A devotee is only interested in eating food that has been offered to Krishna which purifies his consciousness, and helps him in his spiritual progress.
1. Bhagavad-gita 3.5
2. Bhagavad-gita 17.8
3. Bhagavad-gita 17.9
4. Bhagavad-gita 17.10
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Highlife Adventures - New Dating Trend [By: Roberto Bell]
There's a new new dating trend that is in stark contrast to the bar scene of the 1980s, the one-on-one matching services of the 1990s, and the speed dating phenomena that peaked a few years ago. "Not all singles like to hang out in bars, many don't care for the pressure of sequential one-on-one dates, and most people find that speed dating is too superficial," says Mary Vallone, President of Highlife Adventures (www.highlifeadventures.com), an upscale social club for singles in Chicago and Indianapolis. And, while online dating may appeal to some in the college crowd, many of the 25- to 45-year-olds members have "been there, done that." According to Vallone, "Meeting people online can be fun, but also fraught with pitfalls. Singles fare better when they put down the mouse, get out of the house, and meet people face-to-face."
For many singles, the trend toward group activities based on common interests breaks new ground in the dating arena. "In a sense, we're going back to the future," says Vallone. "It's as though the ice cream social of the early 20th century has been kicked up several notches."
In our fast-paced culture, people sometimes spend more time with a BlackBerry or iPhone than they do with real potential partners. Shared experiences and face-to-face interaction have almost become a thing of the past but is it what people really want? According to Vallone, "Men and women are stepping out from the anonymity of the online dating world and reclaiming their lives," Vallone says. "Today's singles not only want to meet people who share their interests, but they also want to share real-life experiences with like-minded potential mates."
Vallone explains that her approach serves to bring people together in a pressure-free setting. "When you attend an event, you're meeting people you already have something in common with and who are all there to meet you," she says. "And, when you're having fun, you let your guard down and are more likely to meet the right person."
Indeed, Highlife Adventures' 3,000 Chicagoland members would be hard-pressed to find an ice cream social among the over 65 activities planned each month. Those who crave adventure can go parasailing, caving, or experience being a fighter pilot for a day. Music aficionados can revel in a hot night of cool jazz or attend a rock star fantasy camp, while those with cultural interests can attend a performance of the Chicago Symphony or a Frank Lloyd Wright tour. Members who enjoy the club scene can participate in a trolley pub-crawl, a moonlight party cruise, or events like "Martinis and Manicures" or "Pots 'n' Shots Pottery Class."
We prescreen each member in person and have a company representative at each event to help ensure positive experiences by everyone. Ultimately," Vallone concludes, "we don't match anyone. Instead, we provide unique, fun events where groups of singles can meet one another and find what they seek – whether it's a friend, a date, or a soulmate."
For many singles, the trend toward group activities based on common interests breaks new ground in the dating arena. "In a sense, we're going back to the future," says Vallone. "It's as though the ice cream social of the early 20th century has been kicked up several notches."
In our fast-paced culture, people sometimes spend more time with a BlackBerry or iPhone than they do with real potential partners. Shared experiences and face-to-face interaction have almost become a thing of the past but is it what people really want? According to Vallone, "Men and women are stepping out from the anonymity of the online dating world and reclaiming their lives," Vallone says. "Today's singles not only want to meet people who share their interests, but they also want to share real-life experiences with like-minded potential mates."
Vallone explains that her approach serves to bring people together in a pressure-free setting. "When you attend an event, you're meeting people you already have something in common with and who are all there to meet you," she says. "And, when you're having fun, you let your guard down and are more likely to meet the right person."
Indeed, Highlife Adventures' 3,000 Chicagoland members would be hard-pressed to find an ice cream social among the over 65 activities planned each month. Those who crave adventure can go parasailing, caving, or experience being a fighter pilot for a day. Music aficionados can revel in a hot night of cool jazz or attend a rock star fantasy camp, while those with cultural interests can attend a performance of the Chicago Symphony or a Frank Lloyd Wright tour. Members who enjoy the club scene can participate in a trolley pub-crawl, a moonlight party cruise, or events like "Martinis and Manicures" or "Pots 'n' Shots Pottery Class."
We prescreen each member in person and have a company representative at each event to help ensure positive experiences by everyone. Ultimately," Vallone concludes, "we don't match anyone. Instead, we provide unique, fun events where groups of singles can meet one another and find what they seek – whether it's a friend, a date, or a soulmate."
Stress Relief for your Wedding [By: Krissy Lanni]
You just got engaged to the man of your dreams. You're more nervous than always! Except for one small matter; both you and your fiancé's budgets have shrunk downward to the tiny size of a pea. And they will remain that manner for oh, tell, anywhere from the next six to eighteen months of planning until your splendid honeymoon eventually arrives.
So, what do you do? Continue doing fun and romantic things with each other or you will end up resenting your wedding! Wedding planning can be hectic enough already. It is important to set aside quality time for you and your fiancé aside from talking or thinking about the wedding. Do not stop contributing time and effort into the wonderful relationship which got you here in the first place!
Ok, your budget for entertainment is practically non-existent. If you have ever had any creative ability, this is the time to get your imagination out of the attic! You actually have the opportunity to think and scheme like a kid again. What could be better? Actually, I am doing the thinking for you. In this article, you will find creative, but more importantly, cheap date ideas.
Summertime Sledding: Locate a large piece of cardboard. (Try the furniture store) Curve the end like a toboggan. Find a downward hill of dry grass and slide down. The park is a great place if you live in a state with flat land. This really works!! Wedding Crashers: This one is for the risk-takers. Go to a wedding reception of someone you don't know. Dress accordingly, so you aren't found out. Fancy date for you and your fiancé; on top of that, you get to practice your acting skills and pick up ideas for your own reception! Test out that southern or British accent you've been experimenting with. This will be a night you'll both remember forever.
When we were kids: Be kids again. Play hopscotch, go to a park, and play on the playground.
Couples night: Have an Ice cream sculpting contest. Each couple gets a scoop of ice cream, spoons, knives, and toppings. It is messy, but a whole lot of fun! And if you do get messy, you can help each other lick it off! If your friends or you are artsy types, you will love this.
Local store date: Plan a date somewhere you will be surrounded by many people. Before going on your date, head to the local thrift shop together. Once there, specify a small amount of money to purchase clothing or accessories for the other and then both head off to find your items. The goal is to pick items for your fiancé to wear for the rest of the night. The entertainment is seeing the reaction from all the people who see your new outfits as you go out on your date. Here is a tip to make it more exciting: Don't pick his or her usual style. Choose a silly costume or another era. Be creative.
Sports: Play a game of tennis, jog in the park, toss a Frisbee around, play catch with a baseball or football or shoot some hoops. Ride bicycles- rent them if you don't own any.
Picnic: They can be made as relaxed and romantic as you want. Take a casual picnic meal, add some cheese and wine along with a red rose and the picnic instantly takes on a romantic feel.
These are only some ideas; feel free to come up with more on your own. And, remember, if you do some of these dates and spend quality time together, you won't resent your wedding!!
So, what do you do? Continue doing fun and romantic things with each other or you will end up resenting your wedding! Wedding planning can be hectic enough already. It is important to set aside quality time for you and your fiancé aside from talking or thinking about the wedding. Do not stop contributing time and effort into the wonderful relationship which got you here in the first place!
Ok, your budget for entertainment is practically non-existent. If you have ever had any creative ability, this is the time to get your imagination out of the attic! You actually have the opportunity to think and scheme like a kid again. What could be better? Actually, I am doing the thinking for you. In this article, you will find creative, but more importantly, cheap date ideas.
Summertime Sledding: Locate a large piece of cardboard. (Try the furniture store) Curve the end like a toboggan. Find a downward hill of dry grass and slide down. The park is a great place if you live in a state with flat land. This really works!! Wedding Crashers: This one is for the risk-takers. Go to a wedding reception of someone you don't know. Dress accordingly, so you aren't found out. Fancy date for you and your fiancé; on top of that, you get to practice your acting skills and pick up ideas for your own reception! Test out that southern or British accent you've been experimenting with. This will be a night you'll both remember forever.
When we were kids: Be kids again. Play hopscotch, go to a park, and play on the playground.
Couples night: Have an Ice cream sculpting contest. Each couple gets a scoop of ice cream, spoons, knives, and toppings. It is messy, but a whole lot of fun! And if you do get messy, you can help each other lick it off! If your friends or you are artsy types, you will love this.
Local store date: Plan a date somewhere you will be surrounded by many people. Before going on your date, head to the local thrift shop together. Once there, specify a small amount of money to purchase clothing or accessories for the other and then both head off to find your items. The goal is to pick items for your fiancé to wear for the rest of the night. The entertainment is seeing the reaction from all the people who see your new outfits as you go out on your date. Here is a tip to make it more exciting: Don't pick his or her usual style. Choose a silly costume or another era. Be creative.
Sports: Play a game of tennis, jog in the park, toss a Frisbee around, play catch with a baseball or football or shoot some hoops. Ride bicycles- rent them if you don't own any.
Picnic: They can be made as relaxed and romantic as you want. Take a casual picnic meal, add some cheese and wine along with a red rose and the picnic instantly takes on a romantic feel.
These are only some ideas; feel free to come up with more on your own. And, remember, if you do some of these dates and spend quality time together, you won't resent your wedding!!
Cheating Wife: How To Deal With Cheating In Your Relationship and Marriage [By: Unknown]
Some believe that it is men who cheat more than woman. Most polls and studies, however, show that either the two cheat the same amount, or that women cheat more than men. It's not surprising, really. Women are very emotional creatures, and if their emotions are not catered to, they will go somewhere else.
This does not mean that it is your fault if your wife is cheating on you. The fact is, cheating should never happen. If a relationship is deteriorating that badly, the wife should be able to go to you, or vice versa, so you can discuss the situation.
Sometimes it is too late to fix the situation because your wife has already cheated. If this is the case, here are some rules you may want to follow when you're trying to handle a cheating wife.
Rule #1: Don't Always Believe What She Says
If you have proof of cheating, confront her with it. Explain to her that you know that she has cheated on you and tell her how it makes you feel. Depending on the type of woman she is, she may jump into the discussion with a lot of excuses.
Here are some classic ones: "What was I supposed to do? You weren't emotionally there for me." "I was just so lonely. You're never home." "It was a one time thing. A total fluke. It will never happen again." "I cheated on you because I know that you cheated on me. I was getting even."
Women tend to jump to the defense very quickly, which means that sometimes they do not know what is coming out of their mouth. She may say one thing during the discussion only to forget that she would even said it. Do not automatically believe what she is saying.
Rule #2: Don't Play 'Pin The Blame'
It is classic for a woman to turn the fact that she cheated back on her husband. She will claim that she only did so because he was not there when she needed him, or because she felt that he did not love her anymore.
Never let her place the blame on your shoulders. If you have stayed faithful to your wife, the blame lies entirely on her shoulders and no one else's. She is the one that made the decision to sleep with another man, and you should not feel guilty about it.
Rule #3: Watch Out For Friends
Some women will enlist the help of their friends. They will convince their friends to call you to say that your wife was not cheating, or that she only did so once.
Some will even say that it was them that was involved with the other person, and that your wife was only trying to help the relationship along. Unless the friends have proof, ignore them. They are just being faithful to your wife, which is a good thing.
After all, you should want your wife's closest friends to be faithful, even if their faith is a bit misplaced. But what goes on in your relationship is between you and your wife and no one else.
Rule #4: Therapy
If this is indeed the first time that your wife has cheated, and you want to salvage the relationship, you may want to suggest couple's therapy.
Couple's therapy will give you the chance to talk to one another with a therapist present so that you can get down to the core of the problem and to what caused her to stray in the first place.
You will both be able to discover if you can forgive or not, and if the relationship will have a chance or if you should cut your losses.
If you suggest therapy and your wife will not agree to it, cut your losses and run. Any wife that wants to get her marriage to work will agree to at least trying therapy.
A wife who vehemently rejects going into therapy with you will probably not want to work to keep your relationship alive, so instead of going through months of pain and suffering, cut your losses as quickly as you can.
Wives may cheat for different reasons than most men cheat, but the fact is that they still cheated. Make sure you talk to your friends and get your own head clear, or you'll never be able to deal with her in a positive manner.
And remember: if the relationship is meant to survive, it will. Get all the help you need using all resources available and ask for advice from people who have experienced what you are going through. Do your own research. Nothing is impossible in this world and there is always hope.
The Simple Truth About Falling And Living In Love [By: Brenda Shoshanna]
We are meant to live a life of love. When we’re not in love, something’s the matter. Unfortunately, most of us, unaware of this, become resigned to disappointment, loss and upset in relationships. No matter how successful we are in other aspects of our lives, many do not feel entitled to the same success in love. This is considered natural as one “grows up” and gives up the fantasies, foolishness and dreams of childhood. But nothing could be further from the truth. It is the fantasies, foolishness, and confused expectations we develop as we grow older that keep the love away.
Being in love is the most mature and realistic thing you can do. It energizes your life, fills you with positivity, creates generosity and makes every moment beautiful. The body heals, the heart is happy. As a great teacher once said, “We never ask the meaning of life when we are in love.”
If being in love is our natural state the real question is, what is it that keeps this most precious inheritance away? How can we reclaim it and return to the intrinsic trust and joy we had as children?
Many fear they will be hurt. But contrary to popular opinion, real love never hurts or wounds. It is only our confused expectations that can undermine our lives. There is a Buddhist saying “Give up poisonous food wherever it is offered to you.” But most of us do not know what is poison and what is nourishing in our relationships.
Once we know the difference between real and counterfeit love, once we learn the laws of love and how to practice them, we will be able to live a life of love and build relationships that cannot fail. The fact of the matter is that we can begin to do this and turn our lives around at any time.
To begin this process, let us look a little deeper. It always seems as if relationships are difficult—difficult to find, to keep and to enjoy. Yet the fundamental truth is that there is no inherent problem with relationships at all. There is never a scarcity of relationships, there is never a scarcity of love.
Some complain that they can’t love because there is something wrong with the person they are with. No one can please or satisfy them. In the beginning they may feel as though they’ve found the perfect person, but before they know it, conflict develops, irritation grows. The joy of feeling loved and valued, fades away. Most people have no idea why.
Ultimately, from the psychological point of view, not falling in love, is not so unusual. In fact, many can do very well, become quite healthy, and yet never get over their disappointments in love.Spiritually speaking, there’s a different point of view. Is a person’s very life at stake if they aren’t able to truly love? The answer is Yes. Without the ability to know real love, the precious taste of this life is thwarted, and a person may be doomed to living her days as a “Hungry Ghost.”
But we can change this at any moment. To begin we suspend judgment and disbelief, become willing to become a child once again – explore, play, hug, cry and feel that the world is filled with endless possibilities. We also must develop the ability to say No to all of the people, beliefs, habits and desires which can take our faith and love away. We need to be willing to allow ourselves to look for and find that which is beautiful and worthwhile in everyone, (including ourselves). And, somehow, let them know.
Falling in love doesn’t mean being blind, or entering into fantasy. It means waking up out of darkened dreams to finally see the beauty which surrounds us. A little endurance is required, along with the willingness to face the shadows that will dispel as soon as we invite in the light. During this holiday season, let’s give it a try. It only takes a moment to do so, but the happiness lasts a long, long time.
Being in love is the most mature and realistic thing you can do. It energizes your life, fills you with positivity, creates generosity and makes every moment beautiful. The body heals, the heart is happy. As a great teacher once said, “We never ask the meaning of life when we are in love.”
If being in love is our natural state the real question is, what is it that keeps this most precious inheritance away? How can we reclaim it and return to the intrinsic trust and joy we had as children?
Many fear they will be hurt. But contrary to popular opinion, real love never hurts or wounds. It is only our confused expectations that can undermine our lives. There is a Buddhist saying “Give up poisonous food wherever it is offered to you.” But most of us do not know what is poison and what is nourishing in our relationships.
Once we know the difference between real and counterfeit love, once we learn the laws of love and how to practice them, we will be able to live a life of love and build relationships that cannot fail. The fact of the matter is that we can begin to do this and turn our lives around at any time.
To begin this process, let us look a little deeper. It always seems as if relationships are difficult—difficult to find, to keep and to enjoy. Yet the fundamental truth is that there is no inherent problem with relationships at all. There is never a scarcity of relationships, there is never a scarcity of love.
Some complain that they can’t love because there is something wrong with the person they are with. No one can please or satisfy them. In the beginning they may feel as though they’ve found the perfect person, but before they know it, conflict develops, irritation grows. The joy of feeling loved and valued, fades away. Most people have no idea why.
Ultimately, from the psychological point of view, not falling in love, is not so unusual. In fact, many can do very well, become quite healthy, and yet never get over their disappointments in love.Spiritually speaking, there’s a different point of view. Is a person’s very life at stake if they aren’t able to truly love? The answer is Yes. Without the ability to know real love, the precious taste of this life is thwarted, and a person may be doomed to living her days as a “Hungry Ghost.”
But we can change this at any moment. To begin we suspend judgment and disbelief, become willing to become a child once again – explore, play, hug, cry and feel that the world is filled with endless possibilities. We also must develop the ability to say No to all of the people, beliefs, habits and desires which can take our faith and love away. We need to be willing to allow ourselves to look for and find that which is beautiful and worthwhile in everyone, (including ourselves). And, somehow, let them know.
Falling in love doesn’t mean being blind, or entering into fantasy. It means waking up out of darkened dreams to finally see the beauty which surrounds us. A little endurance is required, along with the willingness to face the shadows that will dispel as soon as we invite in the light. During this holiday season, let’s give it a try. It only takes a moment to do so, but the happiness lasts a long, long time.
Devotion Is Essential If You Want Your Marriage To Last [By: Joseph Taylor]
When you get married many couples believe that what they have now will last for the rest of their lives and they will live happily ever after; and all they need is love. They get caught up in the moment and excitement of getting hitched!
Guess what? A great percentage of marriages will have major problems. There will be misunderstandings and difficulties throughout the years. One will annoy the other with habits they have or pick up throughout the years. There could be money problems and other such issues.
People change and things you don’t even consider at the time arise. There’s a very good chance it won’t be all roses.
The fact is you can love with everything you got… You can romance each other madly. But your marriage vows stretch way beyond simply the passion and heart…
Would you believe it if I told you that in the past 20 years the number of people that will be married 3 times or more has increased dramatically. From that data I’ve seen, it’s something in the neighborhood of 50% of all the population in the United States alone!
You might even heard that almost half of all marriages today end in divorce. It’s scary. I reflect on this a lot… I think the reasons are many, but there are some things that influence this problem more then others.
Here’s one of the essential things that every marriage needs to last long term. Something that is required in order for the couple’s vows to remain fulfilled for the rest of their lives.
This one virtue that every married couple MUST learn; Devotion to Each Other!
If you want to tear apart a marriage, keep secrets from each other… or don’t think about your partner first.
Being devoted in a marriage is the essential ingredient. A married couple draws on it and protects each other and doesn’t betray the other. A devoted wife or devoted husband care so deeply that they can’t.
There should be a singular focus in the marriage. The goal and priority of the husband and wife must be the happiness, gratification, and the providing of pleasure to the other…
There are going to many people in each others lives. You might have different friends and acquaintances in each others careers and work places. But the priority must be the one you married always! Do nothing to damage this. Be loyal to each other.
Look to each others needs. Take care of each other when you are sick or injured physically or mentally. Support each other and carry each other through tough times.
The priority needs to be so strong that it’s larger then your relationships with your family, friends and even with the people at that wonderful place called your job.
So this is a MAJOR part of a married couples life; this is the top priority for anyone that wants to be with one person for the rest of their lives; one slip up can damage and destroy a marriage… don’t be part of that 50% that fails. It’s not worth it. Be devoted!
Guess what? A great percentage of marriages will have major problems. There will be misunderstandings and difficulties throughout the years. One will annoy the other with habits they have or pick up throughout the years. There could be money problems and other such issues.
People change and things you don’t even consider at the time arise. There’s a very good chance it won’t be all roses.
The fact is you can love with everything you got… You can romance each other madly. But your marriage vows stretch way beyond simply the passion and heart…
Would you believe it if I told you that in the past 20 years the number of people that will be married 3 times or more has increased dramatically. From that data I’ve seen, it’s something in the neighborhood of 50% of all the population in the United States alone!
You might even heard that almost half of all marriages today end in divorce. It’s scary. I reflect on this a lot… I think the reasons are many, but there are some things that influence this problem more then others.
Here’s one of the essential things that every marriage needs to last long term. Something that is required in order for the couple’s vows to remain fulfilled for the rest of their lives.
This one virtue that every married couple MUST learn; Devotion to Each Other!
If you want to tear apart a marriage, keep secrets from each other… or don’t think about your partner first.
Being devoted in a marriage is the essential ingredient. A married couple draws on it and protects each other and doesn’t betray the other. A devoted wife or devoted husband care so deeply that they can’t.
There should be a singular focus in the marriage. The goal and priority of the husband and wife must be the happiness, gratification, and the providing of pleasure to the other…
There are going to many people in each others lives. You might have different friends and acquaintances in each others careers and work places. But the priority must be the one you married always! Do nothing to damage this. Be loyal to each other.
Look to each others needs. Take care of each other when you are sick or injured physically or mentally. Support each other and carry each other through tough times.
The priority needs to be so strong that it’s larger then your relationships with your family, friends and even with the people at that wonderful place called your job.
So this is a MAJOR part of a married couples life; this is the top priority for anyone that wants to be with one person for the rest of their lives; one slip up can damage and destroy a marriage… don’t be part of that 50% that fails. It’s not worth it. Be devoted!
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