What do we call material love in our world? What we call "love" in this world is simply the self-centered desire to enjoy the "beloved" object. So our love for something or someone is dependent upon whether or not our senses are being pleased.
For example, people generally love animals such as cats because of the sensual attraction to soft fur, or dogs because of the dog's desire to please the master. But, very few people are interested in embracing a cockroach, because a cockroach is displeasing to our senses. However, a cockroach is a living entity with feelings like any other due to its essential spiritual nature.
When we think that we are experiencing a loving mood with some other creature, we are illusioned because we are unaware of their consciousness which is not "at one" with ours. It is thinking of its own gratification.
When one loves Krishna, one will love all living entities equally and truly, because of the spiritual family relationship that is there. Krishna tells us that we are all His "parts and parcels", His sons and daughters. A devotee of Krishna has no hatred for any living entity, just pure, unselfish love.
A Krishna conscious person is able to properly express this unselfish love and benefit all living entities, because he is aware of their real self-interest. However others, even if they are well-intentioned, can never give any real help to the self--the soul in the body. Material help is temporary. Spiritual help is eternal.
The real self-interest of all living entities is Krishna consciousness.
The Modes of Nature by Krishna. The Bhagavad-gita informs us that all conditioned souls are forced to act helplessly by , the impulses born of the modes of material nature. The soul is thinking that he is acting by his own volition but in actuality the modes are shaping the soul's desires and actions.
There are three modes of nature: goodness, passion, and ignorance. According to the specific combination of the three modes that a soul is affected by, he acts accordingly. The three modes combine to provide the impulses for every conceivable type of activity in this world, just as the three primary colors can be combined to yield all the colors of the spectrum.
According to the combination of modes, one is attracted to certain types of eatables. For example, the pig is very enthusiastic to partake of stool (which human beings consider abominable), because the pig loves food in the mode of ignorance. Food in the mode of goodness is sweet, juicy, fattening, and palatable. Food in the mode of passion is too bitter, too sour, too salty, pungent, dry, and hot. Food in the mode of ignorance is decomposed, tasteless, stale, putrid, and unclean (such as meat).
A devotee is only interested in eating food that has been offered to Krishna which purifies his consciousness, and helps him in his spiritual progress.
1. Bhagavad-gita 3.5
2. Bhagavad-gita 17.8
3. Bhagavad-gita 17.9
4. Bhagavad-gita 17.10
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Highlife Adventures - New Dating Trend [By: Roberto Bell]
There's a new new dating trend that is in stark contrast to the bar scene of the 1980s, the one-on-one matching services of the 1990s, and the speed dating phenomena that peaked a few years ago. "Not all singles like to hang out in bars, many don't care for the pressure of sequential one-on-one dates, and most people find that speed dating is too superficial," says Mary Vallone, President of Highlife Adventures (www.highlifeadventures.com), an upscale social club for singles in Chicago and Indianapolis. And, while online dating may appeal to some in the college crowd, many of the 25- to 45-year-olds members have "been there, done that." According to Vallone, "Meeting people online can be fun, but also fraught with pitfalls. Singles fare better when they put down the mouse, get out of the house, and meet people face-to-face."
For many singles, the trend toward group activities based on common interests breaks new ground in the dating arena. "In a sense, we're going back to the future," says Vallone. "It's as though the ice cream social of the early 20th century has been kicked up several notches."
In our fast-paced culture, people sometimes spend more time with a BlackBerry or iPhone than they do with real potential partners. Shared experiences and face-to-face interaction have almost become a thing of the past but is it what people really want? According to Vallone, "Men and women are stepping out from the anonymity of the online dating world and reclaiming their lives," Vallone says. "Today's singles not only want to meet people who share their interests, but they also want to share real-life experiences with like-minded potential mates."
Vallone explains that her approach serves to bring people together in a pressure-free setting. "When you attend an event, you're meeting people you already have something in common with and who are all there to meet you," she says. "And, when you're having fun, you let your guard down and are more likely to meet the right person."
Indeed, Highlife Adventures' 3,000 Chicagoland members would be hard-pressed to find an ice cream social among the over 65 activities planned each month. Those who crave adventure can go parasailing, caving, or experience being a fighter pilot for a day. Music aficionados can revel in a hot night of cool jazz or attend a rock star fantasy camp, while those with cultural interests can attend a performance of the Chicago Symphony or a Frank Lloyd Wright tour. Members who enjoy the club scene can participate in a trolley pub-crawl, a moonlight party cruise, or events like "Martinis and Manicures" or "Pots 'n' Shots Pottery Class."
We prescreen each member in person and have a company representative at each event to help ensure positive experiences by everyone. Ultimately," Vallone concludes, "we don't match anyone. Instead, we provide unique, fun events where groups of singles can meet one another and find what they seek – whether it's a friend, a date, or a soulmate."
For many singles, the trend toward group activities based on common interests breaks new ground in the dating arena. "In a sense, we're going back to the future," says Vallone. "It's as though the ice cream social of the early 20th century has been kicked up several notches."
In our fast-paced culture, people sometimes spend more time with a BlackBerry or iPhone than they do with real potential partners. Shared experiences and face-to-face interaction have almost become a thing of the past but is it what people really want? According to Vallone, "Men and women are stepping out from the anonymity of the online dating world and reclaiming their lives," Vallone says. "Today's singles not only want to meet people who share their interests, but they also want to share real-life experiences with like-minded potential mates."
Vallone explains that her approach serves to bring people together in a pressure-free setting. "When you attend an event, you're meeting people you already have something in common with and who are all there to meet you," she says. "And, when you're having fun, you let your guard down and are more likely to meet the right person."
Indeed, Highlife Adventures' 3,000 Chicagoland members would be hard-pressed to find an ice cream social among the over 65 activities planned each month. Those who crave adventure can go parasailing, caving, or experience being a fighter pilot for a day. Music aficionados can revel in a hot night of cool jazz or attend a rock star fantasy camp, while those with cultural interests can attend a performance of the Chicago Symphony or a Frank Lloyd Wright tour. Members who enjoy the club scene can participate in a trolley pub-crawl, a moonlight party cruise, or events like "Martinis and Manicures" or "Pots 'n' Shots Pottery Class."
We prescreen each member in person and have a company representative at each event to help ensure positive experiences by everyone. Ultimately," Vallone concludes, "we don't match anyone. Instead, we provide unique, fun events where groups of singles can meet one another and find what they seek – whether it's a friend, a date, or a soulmate."
Stress Relief for your Wedding [By: Krissy Lanni]
You just got engaged to the man of your dreams. You're more nervous than always! Except for one small matter; both you and your fiancé's budgets have shrunk downward to the tiny size of a pea. And they will remain that manner for oh, tell, anywhere from the next six to eighteen months of planning until your splendid honeymoon eventually arrives.
So, what do you do? Continue doing fun and romantic things with each other or you will end up resenting your wedding! Wedding planning can be hectic enough already. It is important to set aside quality time for you and your fiancé aside from talking or thinking about the wedding. Do not stop contributing time and effort into the wonderful relationship which got you here in the first place!
Ok, your budget for entertainment is practically non-existent. If you have ever had any creative ability, this is the time to get your imagination out of the attic! You actually have the opportunity to think and scheme like a kid again. What could be better? Actually, I am doing the thinking for you. In this article, you will find creative, but more importantly, cheap date ideas.
Summertime Sledding: Locate a large piece of cardboard. (Try the furniture store) Curve the end like a toboggan. Find a downward hill of dry grass and slide down. The park is a great place if you live in a state with flat land. This really works!! Wedding Crashers: This one is for the risk-takers. Go to a wedding reception of someone you don't know. Dress accordingly, so you aren't found out. Fancy date for you and your fiancé; on top of that, you get to practice your acting skills and pick up ideas for your own reception! Test out that southern or British accent you've been experimenting with. This will be a night you'll both remember forever.
When we were kids: Be kids again. Play hopscotch, go to a park, and play on the playground.
Couples night: Have an Ice cream sculpting contest. Each couple gets a scoop of ice cream, spoons, knives, and toppings. It is messy, but a whole lot of fun! And if you do get messy, you can help each other lick it off! If your friends or you are artsy types, you will love this.
Local store date: Plan a date somewhere you will be surrounded by many people. Before going on your date, head to the local thrift shop together. Once there, specify a small amount of money to purchase clothing or accessories for the other and then both head off to find your items. The goal is to pick items for your fiancé to wear for the rest of the night. The entertainment is seeing the reaction from all the people who see your new outfits as you go out on your date. Here is a tip to make it more exciting: Don't pick his or her usual style. Choose a silly costume or another era. Be creative.
Sports: Play a game of tennis, jog in the park, toss a Frisbee around, play catch with a baseball or football or shoot some hoops. Ride bicycles- rent them if you don't own any.
Picnic: They can be made as relaxed and romantic as you want. Take a casual picnic meal, add some cheese and wine along with a red rose and the picnic instantly takes on a romantic feel.
These are only some ideas; feel free to come up with more on your own. And, remember, if you do some of these dates and spend quality time together, you won't resent your wedding!!
So, what do you do? Continue doing fun and romantic things with each other or you will end up resenting your wedding! Wedding planning can be hectic enough already. It is important to set aside quality time for you and your fiancé aside from talking or thinking about the wedding. Do not stop contributing time and effort into the wonderful relationship which got you here in the first place!
Ok, your budget for entertainment is practically non-existent. If you have ever had any creative ability, this is the time to get your imagination out of the attic! You actually have the opportunity to think and scheme like a kid again. What could be better? Actually, I am doing the thinking for you. In this article, you will find creative, but more importantly, cheap date ideas.
Summertime Sledding: Locate a large piece of cardboard. (Try the furniture store) Curve the end like a toboggan. Find a downward hill of dry grass and slide down. The park is a great place if you live in a state with flat land. This really works!! Wedding Crashers: This one is for the risk-takers. Go to a wedding reception of someone you don't know. Dress accordingly, so you aren't found out. Fancy date for you and your fiancé; on top of that, you get to practice your acting skills and pick up ideas for your own reception! Test out that southern or British accent you've been experimenting with. This will be a night you'll both remember forever.
When we were kids: Be kids again. Play hopscotch, go to a park, and play on the playground.
Couples night: Have an Ice cream sculpting contest. Each couple gets a scoop of ice cream, spoons, knives, and toppings. It is messy, but a whole lot of fun! And if you do get messy, you can help each other lick it off! If your friends or you are artsy types, you will love this.
Local store date: Plan a date somewhere you will be surrounded by many people. Before going on your date, head to the local thrift shop together. Once there, specify a small amount of money to purchase clothing or accessories for the other and then both head off to find your items. The goal is to pick items for your fiancé to wear for the rest of the night. The entertainment is seeing the reaction from all the people who see your new outfits as you go out on your date. Here is a tip to make it more exciting: Don't pick his or her usual style. Choose a silly costume or another era. Be creative.
Sports: Play a game of tennis, jog in the park, toss a Frisbee around, play catch with a baseball or football or shoot some hoops. Ride bicycles- rent them if you don't own any.
Picnic: They can be made as relaxed and romantic as you want. Take a casual picnic meal, add some cheese and wine along with a red rose and the picnic instantly takes on a romantic feel.
These are only some ideas; feel free to come up with more on your own. And, remember, if you do some of these dates and spend quality time together, you won't resent your wedding!!
Cheating Wife: How To Deal With Cheating In Your Relationship and Marriage [By: Unknown]
Some believe that it is men who cheat more than woman. Most polls and studies, however, show that either the two cheat the same amount, or that women cheat more than men. It's not surprising, really. Women are very emotional creatures, and if their emotions are not catered to, they will go somewhere else.
This does not mean that it is your fault if your wife is cheating on you. The fact is, cheating should never happen. If a relationship is deteriorating that badly, the wife should be able to go to you, or vice versa, so you can discuss the situation.
Sometimes it is too late to fix the situation because your wife has already cheated. If this is the case, here are some rules you may want to follow when you're trying to handle a cheating wife.
Rule #1: Don't Always Believe What She Says
If you have proof of cheating, confront her with it. Explain to her that you know that she has cheated on you and tell her how it makes you feel. Depending on the type of woman she is, she may jump into the discussion with a lot of excuses.
Here are some classic ones: "What was I supposed to do? You weren't emotionally there for me." "I was just so lonely. You're never home." "It was a one time thing. A total fluke. It will never happen again." "I cheated on you because I know that you cheated on me. I was getting even."
Women tend to jump to the defense very quickly, which means that sometimes they do not know what is coming out of their mouth. She may say one thing during the discussion only to forget that she would even said it. Do not automatically believe what she is saying.
Rule #2: Don't Play 'Pin The Blame'
It is classic for a woman to turn the fact that she cheated back on her husband. She will claim that she only did so because he was not there when she needed him, or because she felt that he did not love her anymore.
Never let her place the blame on your shoulders. If you have stayed faithful to your wife, the blame lies entirely on her shoulders and no one else's. She is the one that made the decision to sleep with another man, and you should not feel guilty about it.
Rule #3: Watch Out For Friends
Some women will enlist the help of their friends. They will convince their friends to call you to say that your wife was not cheating, or that she only did so once.
Some will even say that it was them that was involved with the other person, and that your wife was only trying to help the relationship along. Unless the friends have proof, ignore them. They are just being faithful to your wife, which is a good thing.
After all, you should want your wife's closest friends to be faithful, even if their faith is a bit misplaced. But what goes on in your relationship is between you and your wife and no one else.
Rule #4: Therapy
If this is indeed the first time that your wife has cheated, and you want to salvage the relationship, you may want to suggest couple's therapy.
Couple's therapy will give you the chance to talk to one another with a therapist present so that you can get down to the core of the problem and to what caused her to stray in the first place.
You will both be able to discover if you can forgive or not, and if the relationship will have a chance or if you should cut your losses.
If you suggest therapy and your wife will not agree to it, cut your losses and run. Any wife that wants to get her marriage to work will agree to at least trying therapy.
A wife who vehemently rejects going into therapy with you will probably not want to work to keep your relationship alive, so instead of going through months of pain and suffering, cut your losses as quickly as you can.
Wives may cheat for different reasons than most men cheat, but the fact is that they still cheated. Make sure you talk to your friends and get your own head clear, or you'll never be able to deal with her in a positive manner.
And remember: if the relationship is meant to survive, it will. Get all the help you need using all resources available and ask for advice from people who have experienced what you are going through. Do your own research. Nothing is impossible in this world and there is always hope.
The Simple Truth About Falling And Living In Love [By: Brenda Shoshanna]
We are meant to live a life of love. When we’re not in love, something’s the matter. Unfortunately, most of us, unaware of this, become resigned to disappointment, loss and upset in relationships. No matter how successful we are in other aspects of our lives, many do not feel entitled to the same success in love. This is considered natural as one “grows up” and gives up the fantasies, foolishness and dreams of childhood. But nothing could be further from the truth. It is the fantasies, foolishness, and confused expectations we develop as we grow older that keep the love away.
Being in love is the most mature and realistic thing you can do. It energizes your life, fills you with positivity, creates generosity and makes every moment beautiful. The body heals, the heart is happy. As a great teacher once said, “We never ask the meaning of life when we are in love.”
If being in love is our natural state the real question is, what is it that keeps this most precious inheritance away? How can we reclaim it and return to the intrinsic trust and joy we had as children?
Many fear they will be hurt. But contrary to popular opinion, real love never hurts or wounds. It is only our confused expectations that can undermine our lives. There is a Buddhist saying “Give up poisonous food wherever it is offered to you.” But most of us do not know what is poison and what is nourishing in our relationships.
Once we know the difference between real and counterfeit love, once we learn the laws of love and how to practice them, we will be able to live a life of love and build relationships that cannot fail. The fact of the matter is that we can begin to do this and turn our lives around at any time.
To begin this process, let us look a little deeper. It always seems as if relationships are difficult—difficult to find, to keep and to enjoy. Yet the fundamental truth is that there is no inherent problem with relationships at all. There is never a scarcity of relationships, there is never a scarcity of love.
Some complain that they can’t love because there is something wrong with the person they are with. No one can please or satisfy them. In the beginning they may feel as though they’ve found the perfect person, but before they know it, conflict develops, irritation grows. The joy of feeling loved and valued, fades away. Most people have no idea why.
Ultimately, from the psychological point of view, not falling in love, is not so unusual. In fact, many can do very well, become quite healthy, and yet never get over their disappointments in love.Spiritually speaking, there’s a different point of view. Is a person’s very life at stake if they aren’t able to truly love? The answer is Yes. Without the ability to know real love, the precious taste of this life is thwarted, and a person may be doomed to living her days as a “Hungry Ghost.”
But we can change this at any moment. To begin we suspend judgment and disbelief, become willing to become a child once again – explore, play, hug, cry and feel that the world is filled with endless possibilities. We also must develop the ability to say No to all of the people, beliefs, habits and desires which can take our faith and love away. We need to be willing to allow ourselves to look for and find that which is beautiful and worthwhile in everyone, (including ourselves). And, somehow, let them know.
Falling in love doesn’t mean being blind, or entering into fantasy. It means waking up out of darkened dreams to finally see the beauty which surrounds us. A little endurance is required, along with the willingness to face the shadows that will dispel as soon as we invite in the light. During this holiday season, let’s give it a try. It only takes a moment to do so, but the happiness lasts a long, long time.
Being in love is the most mature and realistic thing you can do. It energizes your life, fills you with positivity, creates generosity and makes every moment beautiful. The body heals, the heart is happy. As a great teacher once said, “We never ask the meaning of life when we are in love.”
If being in love is our natural state the real question is, what is it that keeps this most precious inheritance away? How can we reclaim it and return to the intrinsic trust and joy we had as children?
Many fear they will be hurt. But contrary to popular opinion, real love never hurts or wounds. It is only our confused expectations that can undermine our lives. There is a Buddhist saying “Give up poisonous food wherever it is offered to you.” But most of us do not know what is poison and what is nourishing in our relationships.
Once we know the difference between real and counterfeit love, once we learn the laws of love and how to practice them, we will be able to live a life of love and build relationships that cannot fail. The fact of the matter is that we can begin to do this and turn our lives around at any time.
To begin this process, let us look a little deeper. It always seems as if relationships are difficult—difficult to find, to keep and to enjoy. Yet the fundamental truth is that there is no inherent problem with relationships at all. There is never a scarcity of relationships, there is never a scarcity of love.
Some complain that they can’t love because there is something wrong with the person they are with. No one can please or satisfy them. In the beginning they may feel as though they’ve found the perfect person, but before they know it, conflict develops, irritation grows. The joy of feeling loved and valued, fades away. Most people have no idea why.
Ultimately, from the psychological point of view, not falling in love, is not so unusual. In fact, many can do very well, become quite healthy, and yet never get over their disappointments in love.Spiritually speaking, there’s a different point of view. Is a person’s very life at stake if they aren’t able to truly love? The answer is Yes. Without the ability to know real love, the precious taste of this life is thwarted, and a person may be doomed to living her days as a “Hungry Ghost.”
But we can change this at any moment. To begin we suspend judgment and disbelief, become willing to become a child once again – explore, play, hug, cry and feel that the world is filled with endless possibilities. We also must develop the ability to say No to all of the people, beliefs, habits and desires which can take our faith and love away. We need to be willing to allow ourselves to look for and find that which is beautiful and worthwhile in everyone, (including ourselves). And, somehow, let them know.
Falling in love doesn’t mean being blind, or entering into fantasy. It means waking up out of darkened dreams to finally see the beauty which surrounds us. A little endurance is required, along with the willingness to face the shadows that will dispel as soon as we invite in the light. During this holiday season, let’s give it a try. It only takes a moment to do so, but the happiness lasts a long, long time.
Devotion Is Essential If You Want Your Marriage To Last [By: Joseph Taylor]
When you get married many couples believe that what they have now will last for the rest of their lives and they will live happily ever after; and all they need is love. They get caught up in the moment and excitement of getting hitched!
Guess what? A great percentage of marriages will have major problems. There will be misunderstandings and difficulties throughout the years. One will annoy the other with habits they have or pick up throughout the years. There could be money problems and other such issues.
People change and things you don’t even consider at the time arise. There’s a very good chance it won’t be all roses.
The fact is you can love with everything you got… You can romance each other madly. But your marriage vows stretch way beyond simply the passion and heart…
Would you believe it if I told you that in the past 20 years the number of people that will be married 3 times or more has increased dramatically. From that data I’ve seen, it’s something in the neighborhood of 50% of all the population in the United States alone!
You might even heard that almost half of all marriages today end in divorce. It’s scary. I reflect on this a lot… I think the reasons are many, but there are some things that influence this problem more then others.
Here’s one of the essential things that every marriage needs to last long term. Something that is required in order for the couple’s vows to remain fulfilled for the rest of their lives.
This one virtue that every married couple MUST learn; Devotion to Each Other!
If you want to tear apart a marriage, keep secrets from each other… or don’t think about your partner first.
Being devoted in a marriage is the essential ingredient. A married couple draws on it and protects each other and doesn’t betray the other. A devoted wife or devoted husband care so deeply that they can’t.
There should be a singular focus in the marriage. The goal and priority of the husband and wife must be the happiness, gratification, and the providing of pleasure to the other…
There are going to many people in each others lives. You might have different friends and acquaintances in each others careers and work places. But the priority must be the one you married always! Do nothing to damage this. Be loyal to each other.
Look to each others needs. Take care of each other when you are sick or injured physically or mentally. Support each other and carry each other through tough times.
The priority needs to be so strong that it’s larger then your relationships with your family, friends and even with the people at that wonderful place called your job.
So this is a MAJOR part of a married couples life; this is the top priority for anyone that wants to be with one person for the rest of their lives; one slip up can damage and destroy a marriage… don’t be part of that 50% that fails. It’s not worth it. Be devoted!
Guess what? A great percentage of marriages will have major problems. There will be misunderstandings and difficulties throughout the years. One will annoy the other with habits they have or pick up throughout the years. There could be money problems and other such issues.
People change and things you don’t even consider at the time arise. There’s a very good chance it won’t be all roses.
The fact is you can love with everything you got… You can romance each other madly. But your marriage vows stretch way beyond simply the passion and heart…
Would you believe it if I told you that in the past 20 years the number of people that will be married 3 times or more has increased dramatically. From that data I’ve seen, it’s something in the neighborhood of 50% of all the population in the United States alone!
You might even heard that almost half of all marriages today end in divorce. It’s scary. I reflect on this a lot… I think the reasons are many, but there are some things that influence this problem more then others.
Here’s one of the essential things that every marriage needs to last long term. Something that is required in order for the couple’s vows to remain fulfilled for the rest of their lives.
This one virtue that every married couple MUST learn; Devotion to Each Other!
If you want to tear apart a marriage, keep secrets from each other… or don’t think about your partner first.
Being devoted in a marriage is the essential ingredient. A married couple draws on it and protects each other and doesn’t betray the other. A devoted wife or devoted husband care so deeply that they can’t.
There should be a singular focus in the marriage. The goal and priority of the husband and wife must be the happiness, gratification, and the providing of pleasure to the other…
There are going to many people in each others lives. You might have different friends and acquaintances in each others careers and work places. But the priority must be the one you married always! Do nothing to damage this. Be loyal to each other.
Look to each others needs. Take care of each other when you are sick or injured physically or mentally. Support each other and carry each other through tough times.
The priority needs to be so strong that it’s larger then your relationships with your family, friends and even with the people at that wonderful place called your job.
So this is a MAJOR part of a married couples life; this is the top priority for anyone that wants to be with one person for the rest of their lives; one slip up can damage and destroy a marriage… don’t be part of that 50% that fails. It’s not worth it. Be devoted!
Relationship Advice: Are They Cheating? Three Ways to Find Out [By: D.W Campbell]
In the classic song by the great Hank Williams there is a line that goes, "you're cheatin heart will tell on you." To quote from another song by George Gershwin, "it ain't necessarily so."
The ideal situation is of course for every partner to remain true to the one they vowed to cherish. The reality is that cheating is as old as time and is not going anywhere. Whether they feel they are stuck in a loveless relationship, find themselves attracted to someone new or just the thrill of doing something that is a bit reckless is beside the point. The fact is you have strong suspicions that your partner is out tomcatting around.
You may have mixed feelings about finding out. Why? Because it feels weird spying on someone you care about. However, after careful consideration you have made the decision that you want to know. So how do you go about it?
1. Ask questions
You want to do this without turning into Perry Mason; in other words do not be obvious. The point is to see if there are any inconsistencies in what they are telling you. Little white lies have a startling way of exposing major problems. This will require you to pick and choose different time frames to ask seemingly innocuous questions. Cheating and not getting caught takes a certain amount of cleverness so you must do the same in your line of questioning.
2. Attention to Detail
Your partner says they are going to some fast food joint to get something to eat. No problem, except they have been gone for two hours and the restaurant is only twenty minutes from the house. They tell you they sat down to eat, traffic was heavy or they ran into an old friend. Again, do not be afraid to ask questions and take note of their body language.
Sometimes you do not have to say anything. Attention to detail can also include checking the phone bill or bank statements for anything out of the ordinary. How is the credit card looking? Suspicious charges are good indicators.
It should be noted that if you are using a phone bill to investigate be careful. Seeing a number that you do not recognize may have your emotions racing ahead of you. Calling that number in a panic only to find out it belongs to a relative can put you in a pretty awkward situation. If it is someone your partner is having an affair with, try to remain calm. Sometimes the other person has no idea that they have become involved with someone who is already in a relationship. If your partner is deceiving you than the chances are pretty good they are pulling the same con on someone else.
3. The Gumshoe
You want to know what's going on but don't have the stomach (understandable) to do your own investigation. This is where the private investigator comes in. Unlike T.V. where the investigator gets into all kinds of far fetched adventures, catching a cheating spouse or partner is how many of them make a living; and business is always good. Private eyes can be expensive but keep in mind they have the resources and experience to give you a definite yes or no on whether your partner is cheating.
You sure hope your suspicions are wrong but there is no getting around the fact that you want to know whether your partner is cheating. You can investigate yourself or hire a professional but either way you must prepare yourself for the answers and that includes one which could put an end to your relationship. It is a nasty business but it is much better to find out sooner rather than later.
The ideal situation is of course for every partner to remain true to the one they vowed to cherish. The reality is that cheating is as old as time and is not going anywhere. Whether they feel they are stuck in a loveless relationship, find themselves attracted to someone new or just the thrill of doing something that is a bit reckless is beside the point. The fact is you have strong suspicions that your partner is out tomcatting around.
You may have mixed feelings about finding out. Why? Because it feels weird spying on someone you care about. However, after careful consideration you have made the decision that you want to know. So how do you go about it?
1. Ask questions
You want to do this without turning into Perry Mason; in other words do not be obvious. The point is to see if there are any inconsistencies in what they are telling you. Little white lies have a startling way of exposing major problems. This will require you to pick and choose different time frames to ask seemingly innocuous questions. Cheating and not getting caught takes a certain amount of cleverness so you must do the same in your line of questioning.
2. Attention to Detail
Your partner says they are going to some fast food joint to get something to eat. No problem, except they have been gone for two hours and the restaurant is only twenty minutes from the house. They tell you they sat down to eat, traffic was heavy or they ran into an old friend. Again, do not be afraid to ask questions and take note of their body language.
Sometimes you do not have to say anything. Attention to detail can also include checking the phone bill or bank statements for anything out of the ordinary. How is the credit card looking? Suspicious charges are good indicators.
It should be noted that if you are using a phone bill to investigate be careful. Seeing a number that you do not recognize may have your emotions racing ahead of you. Calling that number in a panic only to find out it belongs to a relative can put you in a pretty awkward situation. If it is someone your partner is having an affair with, try to remain calm. Sometimes the other person has no idea that they have become involved with someone who is already in a relationship. If your partner is deceiving you than the chances are pretty good they are pulling the same con on someone else.
3. The Gumshoe
You want to know what's going on but don't have the stomach (understandable) to do your own investigation. This is where the private investigator comes in. Unlike T.V. where the investigator gets into all kinds of far fetched adventures, catching a cheating spouse or partner is how many of them make a living; and business is always good. Private eyes can be expensive but keep in mind they have the resources and experience to give you a definite yes or no on whether your partner is cheating.
You sure hope your suspicions are wrong but there is no getting around the fact that you want to know whether your partner is cheating. You can investigate yourself or hire a professional but either way you must prepare yourself for the answers and that includes one which could put an end to your relationship. It is a nasty business but it is much better to find out sooner rather than later.
Are Free Dating Sites Right For You? [By: Alan Lim]
You might just be out of love or lonely and looking for love. Are free dating sites right for you? Read on and find out just to be sure!
How to decide if you are ready to explore free dating sites
How much time one should wait after a relationship has soured or if you have lost a loved one, before they begin dating again, is a much debated question. However, different people have different opinions on the same. Some are ready to hit the dating scene early while others take a long time. It is up to the individual to decide the same. One way to test the waters is to take advantage of the umpteen numbers of free dating sites available today!
How do you decide if the free dating sites are the right way to go? Well, there is no way to tell till you have tried and tested it! There is more to these sites than meets the eye. Registering on free dating sites does not mean that you have to fall in love with the next person you like. These sites also offer opportunities to connect intimately with people just over the Internet. It is a well known fact that you can connect much more freely over the Internet as you control how far you get involved with other people. Moreover, it is also true that anonymity makes a person braver and you can share a lot more with strangers you are not likely to meet or get to know in the real world. In this case, what the free dating sites offer is a chance to find and develop close bonds of friendship with virtual strangers with whom you can be honest and upfront and share your problems and joys with without the risk of being judged. Cyber friendships are more common today with the new age of Internet permeating the fabric of society. Many people have experienced this new way of finding close friendships on free dating sites which have flourished not just for weeks or months, but for years!
You can be a part of the cyber dating world anytime you wish. There are no set rules. Some people use cyber dating as a comfort tool as well, to regain lost confidence after failed relationships. Others have resorted to free dating sites to find reassurance and courage to move on after traumatic breakups or losses of loved ones. And many others have just been looking for acceptance of who they are in reality. Age has never been a barrier when taking advantage of cyber dating. People of all ages and ethnicities are online today, with the common goal of finding love, romance and friendship on the Internet.
The next time you are looking for any of these, try to test the waters with Internet dating. Register on the free dating sites and experience what many others already have! There is no right or wrong reason to register on these websites. They are merely a social tool to extend yourself to the world while you enrich your life with strong friendships, love and romance. And there is no real way of knowing what is right for you, till you have experienced it!
How to decide if you are ready to explore free dating sites
How much time one should wait after a relationship has soured or if you have lost a loved one, before they begin dating again, is a much debated question. However, different people have different opinions on the same. Some are ready to hit the dating scene early while others take a long time. It is up to the individual to decide the same. One way to test the waters is to take advantage of the umpteen numbers of free dating sites available today!
How do you decide if the free dating sites are the right way to go? Well, there is no way to tell till you have tried and tested it! There is more to these sites than meets the eye. Registering on free dating sites does not mean that you have to fall in love with the next person you like. These sites also offer opportunities to connect intimately with people just over the Internet. It is a well known fact that you can connect much more freely over the Internet as you control how far you get involved with other people. Moreover, it is also true that anonymity makes a person braver and you can share a lot more with strangers you are not likely to meet or get to know in the real world. In this case, what the free dating sites offer is a chance to find and develop close bonds of friendship with virtual strangers with whom you can be honest and upfront and share your problems and joys with without the risk of being judged. Cyber friendships are more common today with the new age of Internet permeating the fabric of society. Many people have experienced this new way of finding close friendships on free dating sites which have flourished not just for weeks or months, but for years!
You can be a part of the cyber dating world anytime you wish. There are no set rules. Some people use cyber dating as a comfort tool as well, to regain lost confidence after failed relationships. Others have resorted to free dating sites to find reassurance and courage to move on after traumatic breakups or losses of loved ones. And many others have just been looking for acceptance of who they are in reality. Age has never been a barrier when taking advantage of cyber dating. People of all ages and ethnicities are online today, with the common goal of finding love, romance and friendship on the Internet.
The next time you are looking for any of these, try to test the waters with Internet dating. Register on the free dating sites and experience what many others already have! There is no right or wrong reason to register on these websites. They are merely a social tool to extend yourself to the world while you enrich your life with strong friendships, love and romance. And there is no real way of knowing what is right for you, till you have experienced it!
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Simple Romance Tips For Guys - Win Her Heart All Over Again
When it comes to affairs of the heart, one of the most common questions that men and women ask is, how can I be more romantic?
Women adore romance and the smart man knows that even the most masculine of males will benefit from being romantic every now and then. There's nothing that turns a woman on more than a macho man with a flair for romance. Even simple gestures like cooking a romantic dinner, surprising her with flowers or taking the time in your busy day to show her some appreciation are enough to touch her heart.
This list offers some suggestions on how men can be romantic towards their partners without that much effort.
(1) Be thoughtful every day
It could be something as simple as offering her a cup of coffee the moment she wakes up or bringing her a surprise like chocolates or candy when you get home. You could even write her a love note and put it in her bag before she goes to work. All women love romantic surprises, no matter how small.
(2) Make her a toast
Out of the blue, make a toast to her over dinner and tell her something that you adore about her, then drink to it. You don't have to be drinking wine or champagne - a glass of orange juice or water will do. It's the gesture and the message of your toast that counts.
(3) Compile a photo album
Regularly snap photos of your life together, not only of your special moments but your everyday activities as well. Then put them together in a photo album and surprise her. This is something she will enjoy for many years to come. Oh, and remember to catch her best side!
(4) Celebrate all your anniversaries
List down all your special anniversaries together and celebrate each one. Of course, the most important of these are your yearly anniversary and the time you first fell in love. Try to celebrate other anniversaries as well, such as the first time you met or your first kiss. It doesn't have to be lavish. Even a simple card or a hand-written letter will make a great romantic impression.
(5) Have regular physical contact
This does not refer to sex alone but to simple gestures as well, such as kissing her goodbye when you leave for work and when you return at the end of the day. You could volunteer to give her a back rub or massage her feet at the end of a tiring day. The power of touch is a compelling thing, so make it work for you.
(6) Communicate your feelings
Tell your woman about your day, about how you felt about certain things and whether you are feeling stressed or tired. Don't worry, they will not hold that against you. In fact, your partner will appreciate your honesty and it will make them feel like a significant part of your life. They may even make an effort to cheer you up and make you feel better.
(7) Look good for her
It's funny that we sometimes dress up for business meetings or for total strangers but we rarely extend the same courtesy to those who matter the most. Make it a point to look good for your woman and make sure you're wearing her favorite cologne.
Women adore romance and the smart man knows that even the most masculine of males will benefit from being romantic every now and then. There's nothing that turns a woman on more than a macho man with a flair for romance. Even simple gestures like cooking a romantic dinner, surprising her with flowers or taking the time in your busy day to show her some appreciation are enough to touch her heart.
This list offers some suggestions on how men can be romantic towards their partners without that much effort.
(1) Be thoughtful every day
It could be something as simple as offering her a cup of coffee the moment she wakes up or bringing her a surprise like chocolates or candy when you get home. You could even write her a love note and put it in her bag before she goes to work. All women love romantic surprises, no matter how small.
(2) Make her a toast
Out of the blue, make a toast to her over dinner and tell her something that you adore about her, then drink to it. You don't have to be drinking wine or champagne - a glass of orange juice or water will do. It's the gesture and the message of your toast that counts.
(3) Compile a photo album
Regularly snap photos of your life together, not only of your special moments but your everyday activities as well. Then put them together in a photo album and surprise her. This is something she will enjoy for many years to come. Oh, and remember to catch her best side!
(4) Celebrate all your anniversaries
List down all your special anniversaries together and celebrate each one. Of course, the most important of these are your yearly anniversary and the time you first fell in love. Try to celebrate other anniversaries as well, such as the first time you met or your first kiss. It doesn't have to be lavish. Even a simple card or a hand-written letter will make a great romantic impression.
(5) Have regular physical contact
This does not refer to sex alone but to simple gestures as well, such as kissing her goodbye when you leave for work and when you return at the end of the day. You could volunteer to give her a back rub or massage her feet at the end of a tiring day. The power of touch is a compelling thing, so make it work for you.
(6) Communicate your feelings
Tell your woman about your day, about how you felt about certain things and whether you are feeling stressed or tired. Don't worry, they will not hold that against you. In fact, your partner will appreciate your honesty and it will make them feel like a significant part of your life. They may even make an effort to cheer you up and make you feel better.
(7) Look good for her
It's funny that we sometimes dress up for business meetings or for total strangers but we rarely extend the same courtesy to those who matter the most. Make it a point to look good for your woman and make sure you're wearing her favorite cologne.
A Creative Romantic Lives In You Too!
Why is it that so many people believe that they dont have time or take the initiative to be romantic?
Maybe most people dont believe that they are creative enough to be romantic.
Everyone is creative!
The definition of being creative is having the ability or power to create. The word create offers a much broader definition than most people accept when it comes to the process of being able to come up with something original or simply well thought out.
Gifts that are considered to be traditionally romantic like candy and flowers are wonderful, but sometimes you need something that goes one step further.
If your spouse enjoys flowers, you dont have to settle for roses because they can sometimes become unexciting after a while! Present him or her with something completely original such as a daisy or another flower where petals can be counted. Ask him or her to play the childhood game of they love me, they love me not and watch them pluck the petals as they go. However, dont allow for the possibility of him or her arriving at the they love me not. Count the petals before you present the flower to your spouse and trim it so that there is an odd number of petals for the right outcome!
Arts and crafts used to be a fun break from the monotony of the school day, but believe it or not, it will come in handy when it comes to creative romantic gestures.
Instead of promising that you will love him or her forever, show them. Take a piece of paper, ribbon or other material you choose and write I love you on both sides from end to end. Twist the paper 180 degrees and connect both ends of the paper until you have mad what looks like the figure eight. Tape or glue to ends together. You can present your love with a symbol that shows them your love for them is an endless love.
Creativity comes in many different forms! Being creative can mean creating an atmosphere. If you want to plan the ultimate romantic evening but funds are low or you simply dont want to have to leave the house, shut down the electricity and imitate a power outage (its up to you whether or not you tell him or her!). You wont have any distractions or heat, so it is up to both of you to keep the other warm and entertain each other.
Maybe romance is on your mind, but he or she is going out of town. Did you know that people on airplanes are typically hopeless romantics? Any flight attendant would be more than happy to make sure that your spouse receives a special present after the flight has left the ground. Simply approach a crewmember after he or she boards the plane and they are usually more than happy to oblige a hopeless romantic like you! (You might want to make sure that the gift is unwrapped or keep it to a single rose due to heightened security.)
Creativity doesnt have to come in the form of gifts every single time.
Gestures like getting up and dancing with your spouse when a special song comes on the radio is quite creative and incredibly romantic! Whenever the mood strikes you, allow your creative juices to flow!
Articles by Udo Vieth
Maybe most people dont believe that they are creative enough to be romantic.
Everyone is creative!
The definition of being creative is having the ability or power to create. The word create offers a much broader definition than most people accept when it comes to the process of being able to come up with something original or simply well thought out.
Gifts that are considered to be traditionally romantic like candy and flowers are wonderful, but sometimes you need something that goes one step further.
If your spouse enjoys flowers, you dont have to settle for roses because they can sometimes become unexciting after a while! Present him or her with something completely original such as a daisy or another flower where petals can be counted. Ask him or her to play the childhood game of they love me, they love me not and watch them pluck the petals as they go. However, dont allow for the possibility of him or her arriving at the they love me not. Count the petals before you present the flower to your spouse and trim it so that there is an odd number of petals for the right outcome!
Arts and crafts used to be a fun break from the monotony of the school day, but believe it or not, it will come in handy when it comes to creative romantic gestures.
Instead of promising that you will love him or her forever, show them. Take a piece of paper, ribbon or other material you choose and write I love you on both sides from end to end. Twist the paper 180 degrees and connect both ends of the paper until you have mad what looks like the figure eight. Tape or glue to ends together. You can present your love with a symbol that shows them your love for them is an endless love.
Creativity comes in many different forms! Being creative can mean creating an atmosphere. If you want to plan the ultimate romantic evening but funds are low or you simply dont want to have to leave the house, shut down the electricity and imitate a power outage (its up to you whether or not you tell him or her!). You wont have any distractions or heat, so it is up to both of you to keep the other warm and entertain each other.
Maybe romance is on your mind, but he or she is going out of town. Did you know that people on airplanes are typically hopeless romantics? Any flight attendant would be more than happy to make sure that your spouse receives a special present after the flight has left the ground. Simply approach a crewmember after he or she boards the plane and they are usually more than happy to oblige a hopeless romantic like you! (You might want to make sure that the gift is unwrapped or keep it to a single rose due to heightened security.)
Creativity doesnt have to come in the form of gifts every single time.
Gestures like getting up and dancing with your spouse when a special song comes on the radio is quite creative and incredibly romantic! Whenever the mood strikes you, allow your creative juices to flow!
Articles by Udo Vieth
Soul Mate - a Pain in the Neck
.. and they lived happily ever after ...
That is how our favorite childhood fairytales have always ended.
That is how the romantic movies from Hollywood always end.
And that is what the media agencies advertisements promise will happen if we'll purchase the right toothpaste, car, T-shirt or life insurance policy.
In short, "...and they lived happily ever after..." is what we have been conditioned to believe our intimate relationship should look like.
WAKE UP FOLKS!
I hate to tell you this, but... GROW UP!
We were conditioned to believe that life was going to be a bed of roses... a piece of cake... a walk in the park.
Of course, what 'they' forgot to mention when we were kids, was that roses have thorns, cakes contain calories, and a walk in the park significantly increases your odds of stepping in dog's you know what...
One of the major myths we were led to believe in, since the 12th century, is the myth of romantic love.
A myth that nowadays has its new-age label - the well-known 'Soul Mate'.
Romantic love is probably the most popular path to personal satisfaction and self-esteem in the western world.
In our modern culture, we replaced religion with romantic love as the means by which we seek ecstasy, meaning and wholeness.
Romantic love does not only mean 'loving someone', it also means 'being in love'.
When we are in love we believe we have found the ultimate meaning of life, as revealed in another human being - our Soul Mate.
We feel 'instantaneous completeness' and believe that the so-called missing piece to our life and to ourselves, has finally been found.
Life suddenly seems to have a wholeness, meaning, direction and purpose.
There is this intensity, which lifts us high above our usual perception of reality.
For most people, these exciting feelings are assumed to be the definite signs of the ultimate lover.
Unconsciously, we immediately create a demand that our lover always provide us with this feeling of ecstasy and intensity.
Despite that ecstasy, within a few weeks (or months) we usually encounter feelings of loneliness, alienation and
frustration over our inability to create intimate, loving and committed relationship.
Usually we blame our lover for failing us.
What seldom occurs to us is that, it is we who need to transform our own unconscious beliefs, expectations and
demands, which we impose upon our lover.
Once aware of it, we realize that this relationship brings unhealed emotional 'stuff' into our conscious mind.
Only from this perspective, can we assume our responsibility for the situation and begin to deal with what comes to the surface.
From this point of recognition, we can then begin to heal ourselves.
I am convinced that we join in relationship with another person with the purpose of supporting each other's personal-growth process.
In order to support us on our path we need this private trainer or coach to walk with us.
Imagine one of those famous football or basketball trainers, as your personal coach, 24 hours a day, all year round...
I can see your horrified expression from here...
Well, this personal coach is your Soul Mate.
... not exactly what you had in mind when you saw that gorgeous someone at a party...
The role of your Soul Mate is to confront you when you're losing your integrity, to kick your ass when you're getting lazy, push your buttons until you gain clarity of your destructive patterns, and so on...
If you and your partner had both attained enlightenment, you probably wouldn't have so much trouble.
Your partner would have all the compassion in the world, and you would have the overview to see your partner's contribution to your life.
And then of course, if both of you are fully enlightened, then you probably don't need a Soul Mate...
However, assuming that both of you haven't reached that stage of full self-realization yet, life is a bit more
complicated...
I read somewhere that the phrase "And they lived happily ever after" is actually a long-forgotten medieval punch line that, when translated, means, "And, boy - ha ha! - are they in for the surprise of their lives!"
Have fun...
Article by Nisandeh Neta
Seven Habits of Highly Successful Couples
Keeping intimate relationship alive requires strength, motivation, and a little something called love.
We are guilty of basing our romantic beliefs on fairytales.
The problem with happily ever after is there's more to ever after than meets the eye. To hold on to Prince Charming, Snow White has to be willing to do more than sing with the bluebirds.
If you are willing to put forth the effort to keep your relationship alive, then developing the following seven habits will help you become one of those highly successful couples.
HABIT #1 - GIVE EACH OTHER PLEASURE
Your goal in the relationship is to give each other pleasure, not to cause pain. Simple, isn't it?
However... for just a single day, become consciously aware of everything you do, by asking yourself the question, "Is what I'm about to do or say going to cause my partner pain or pleasure?"
To help you, each of you should make two lists: one for all the things your partner does that hurt you, and another for all that you'd like your partner to do to give you pleasure.
Swap lists, and now you know exactly what to do and what not to do. No more guessing!
HABIT #2 - CREATE LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP RITUALS
We fall in love through rituals of connection and intimacy such as romantic dinners, long conversations, riding bicycles or going for walks, exchanging gifts, talking every night on the telephone...
When we fall in love our relationship becomes the center point of our life, with anything else becoming secondary.
Over time, when the relationship becomes more settled (particularly after we have children), this process reverses.
The children, our work, our hobbies, our friends - take the center stage and the relationship being relegated to the background tending only to receive our attention in times of crisis.
The remedy to routine (the main cause of dull relationships) is connection and intimacy rituals.
For example, every Saturday evening, as a changeover from the working week into the weekend, take two hours together when you put a "do not disturb" sign on your busy life.
No phones, no answered doors, no e-mails, no TV, nothing...
Just the two of you and your relationship.
Do what you will with the time, however it must be an investment in your relationship.
HABIT #3 - CREATE A SAFE SPACE FOR OPEN AND HONEST SHARING
Create a sense of safety and acceptance that allows each of you to express your feelings, problems, expectations and disappointments.
One of our connection rituals is a process called "Clearing" that creates this atmosphere of safety and acceptance.
EVERY NIGHT before we go to sleep, we ask each other "what DID NOT work for you today?"
We give each other a chance to share about all the things that went "wrong" during the day (whether connected to the relationship or not).
If there are any solutions that we can mutually agree upon to assist with improvements for the future, we raise the issue.
When both of us are complete, we initiate a second round, in which we ask each other "what DID work for you today?"
This is our opportunity to share about all the goodness that we've experienced during the day, as well as acknowledge each other (and others) for the support and love we've received.
HABIT #4 - WORK TOGETHER TO RESOLVE CONFLICT AND CRISIS
The problem with the way most couples argue is that they attempt to find solutions before allowing each other the chance to say what they need to say.
The "Council" process ensures that before you engage in solution talk, each one of you feels you have been fully heard.
Here's how it can be made to work in the practice:
One person holds an object in their hand, called the "Talking Piece", which symbolizes that he or she has the floor.
While one person has the floor, the other person is allowed only to listen without interruption.
When speaking, you should focus on speaking from your heart (emotional, spontaneous, instinctive as opposed to mental).
When listening, you are encouraged to listen from your heart (i.e. from acceptance and compassion).
Only after each person has been fully "heard," (in case it is still necessary) continue through to the process of problem solving.
HABIT #5 - TURN TOWARD EACH OTHER, RATHER THAN AWAY
When you pass your lover during the course of a day, do you stop and rub their shoulder, give them a kiss on the cheek, and whisper something nice in their ear - or do you just walk on by?
This is the meaning of "turning toward" as opposed to "turning away."
Turning toward each other means making each other your number one priority.
Make sure to find ways to be physically and emotionally close to each other, such as doing things together that you both enjoy. Take walks together, drink coffee together after dinner, listen to music together...
HABIT #6 - SCHEDULE TIME FOR LOVE
Want to improve your sex life? Here's one of the most profound pieces of advice I can give you: SCHEDULE IT!
Doesn't sound very romantic, I know. But it works.
Waiting for that "magic moment" when you're both "in the mood" may be romantic, but it's not always practical. We all have had times when we were waiting and waiting and... waiting.
Plan in the morning to make love that night. Call each other all day long with reminders, ideas and seductive suggestions.
By the time evening rolls around you'll both feel like you've engaged in foreplay all day long - and you'll be ready for an exciting night!
HABIT #7 - CREATE MEANING IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Think about it, besides having fun, what else would you like to do together in the coming 40 years?
We all need meaning in our lives.
You will enrich your relationship by sharing meaningful experiences with each other. The ultimate in meaning is to share a common philosophy of life and life purpose.
This is why couples who choose a path of personal-growth or spirituality together, have great source of meaning in their lives.
When you practice these seven habits intentionally and consistently, you'll re-create every day a loving, fulfilling and long-lasting relationship.
It's easy - give it a try...
Author by Nisandeh Neta
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Do you know about what kind of dating partner are you looking for?
Do you know about what kind of dating partner are you looking for? Have you broadly specified the qualities that you are looking for in your dating partner? If not it is time you do that. Otherwise, you will never get satisfied with any dating partner. If you yourself do not know what you are looking for, how will you succeed?
Unfortunately, when we look for to buy anything, we try to find out what we are looking for. But when it comes to a dating partner, many of us have no clue about what kind of person will satisfy them. Let us look at some qualities that may specify your partner.
Physical - Are you looking for a great specimen? A smashing looker? Will you be happy, even if the other person is lacking in intelligence but has a great body? Or you need more intelligence and an Ok, body? Are you prepared to compromise on looks if your partner is otherwise good, or good looks are a must? Please think hard and decide.
Emotional - What should be the emotional makeup of your partner? Will you be emotionally satisfied only if you find a caring partner? Or you need someone for who you will care? Should your partner have his/her emotions ruling over the head? Are you looking for a very compassionate person or someone very tough and emotionally strong? Someone who begins crying looking at a miserable scene or one who will say - this is what life is and walk away? Emotions rule every facet of our life. We must know our emotional make up and also know about the emotions we desire in our partner. Please prepare a long list of questions about emotions you desire your partner to have in plenty and try to find out before you proceed further. If your partner is short tempered and if you hate anger, you will never love him/her. Am I correct? Please define your priorities.
Intellectual - Will anyone with normal intellect satisfy you, or you need someone who can write volumes on any given subject. What is your intellectual level and what kind of partner are you seeking in this area? Please decide very carefully about this. This quality is many times responsible for destroying relationships. Sometimes, people of average intellect manage to attract some one of very high intellect and then suffer from this complex all through their life.
Goals - What are your values in life? What are your goals about money, children, family life and other areas? If your partner has different values and life goals, it will be destruction right from day one.
If we know what we are looking for, we present ourselves as thinking individuals who know their minds to any dating partner. You will be respected for that and will surely attract the one you desire
Article Source: http://www.yourromanceguide.com/articles/dating/what-kind-of-date-are-you-searching-for.php
Unfortunately, when we look for to buy anything, we try to find out what we are looking for. But when it comes to a dating partner, many of us have no clue about what kind of person will satisfy them. Let us look at some qualities that may specify your partner.
Physical - Are you looking for a great specimen? A smashing looker? Will you be happy, even if the other person is lacking in intelligence but has a great body? Or you need more intelligence and an Ok, body? Are you prepared to compromise on looks if your partner is otherwise good, or good looks are a must? Please think hard and decide.
Emotional - What should be the emotional makeup of your partner? Will you be emotionally satisfied only if you find a caring partner? Or you need someone for who you will care? Should your partner have his/her emotions ruling over the head? Are you looking for a very compassionate person or someone very tough and emotionally strong? Someone who begins crying looking at a miserable scene or one who will say - this is what life is and walk away? Emotions rule every facet of our life. We must know our emotional make up and also know about the emotions we desire in our partner. Please prepare a long list of questions about emotions you desire your partner to have in plenty and try to find out before you proceed further. If your partner is short tempered and if you hate anger, you will never love him/her. Am I correct? Please define your priorities.
Intellectual - Will anyone with normal intellect satisfy you, or you need someone who can write volumes on any given subject. What is your intellectual level and what kind of partner are you seeking in this area? Please decide very carefully about this. This quality is many times responsible for destroying relationships. Sometimes, people of average intellect manage to attract some one of very high intellect and then suffer from this complex all through their life.
Goals - What are your values in life? What are your goals about money, children, family life and other areas? If your partner has different values and life goals, it will be destruction right from day one.
If we know what we are looking for, we present ourselves as thinking individuals who know their minds to any dating partner. You will be respected for that and will surely attract the one you desire
Article Source: http://www.yourromanceguide.com/articles/dating/what-kind-of-date-are-you-searching-for.php
How Much Do You Know About Your Man?
How much do you know about your man? We are not talking about what he prefers to eat, or what kind of work he loves, or which game is his favorite. We are talking about his inner core. This core holds the real emotions, values and principles. Do you know everything about the inner core of your man? If not, you may get a shock after some time.
This is not only true for women, but also for men. But women always get more hurt after a break-up. Find out about the values of your husband. Does he have any? If yes, what are they? Which values will he never compromise? What are his principles of life? Does he truly live by them or changes them when it suits him? How honest is he? Is it make believe honesty or real?
Try to know everything that your man thinks and believes. That will help you have a better relationship.
Article Source: http://www.yourromanceguide.com/articles/for-women/how-much-do-you-know-about-your-man.php
This is not only true for women, but also for men. But women always get more hurt after a break-up. Find out about the values of your husband. Does he have any? If yes, what are they? Which values will he never compromise? What are his principles of life? Does he truly live by them or changes them when it suits him? How honest is he? Is it make believe honesty or real?
Try to know everything that your man thinks and believes. That will help you have a better relationship.
Article Source: http://www.yourromanceguide.com/articles/for-women/how-much-do-you-know-about-your-man.php
Survey Shows What Today's Woman Wants in a Relationship
(ARA) - Forget the mystic power of perfect pecs�when a woman is looking for her guy, smart and funny beats a hot bod, hands down. Sure there are other pitfalls ahead, like married and/or gay men, unseemly body odor, cheap cologne, overly demanding sexual partners, witless first dates, and the timeless allure of the "bad boy." But at the end of the day, none of this matters because if George Clooney or Patrick Dempsey come a' knocking on her door�
Welcome to the wonderful world of 21st Century dating and relationships as seen through a nationwide poll of Lifetime viewers who responded to an email poll sent to them as part of the expansive Lifetime Women's Pulse Poll series. This most recent survey keys off Lifetime's premiere of its first original comedy series since 1998, "Lovespring International," a half hour program from "Will & Grace" star Eric McCormack about a dysfunctional dating service, premiering Monday, June 5 at 11PM (ET/PT).
Throughout June, best-selling writer Dr. Ian Kerner, author of DSI: Date Scene Investigation and Cosmopolitan Magazine's Relationship Expert, serves as Lifetime's on-air host, offering real-life insights into the poll's many faceted results.
Says Kerner: "Just in time for a sexy summer of love, Lifetime's survey results let us know what today's woman is looking for in a relationship, and provide a great launching-point for a discussion of the unique dynamics of today's "mating market" and the issues facing singles. What I find particularly compelling is that so many women are settling for 'Mr. Maybe' in their search for 'Mr. Right.' Also intriguing is that while so many women claim they're mainly looking for a nice guy with a sense of humor, 'bad boys' still top the list as the type of man who is most appealing. Maybe this is why 41 percent of women have said 'I love you' in the past only to get no response!"
Celebrities
According to the poll, if a girl's going to special order her celebrity date, George (big surprise here) Clooney pulled down 39 percent of the vote, out-pacing younger hunks like Nick Lachey (14 percent), Colin Farrell (10 percent), Orlando Bloom (9 percent), Derek Jeter (8 percent) and Jake Gyllenhaal (6 percent).
When it came to which TV doctor they'd like to take their pulse, Dr. McDreamy (Patrick Dempsey) sent the temperatures soaring, followed by "ER"'s Noah Wyle (21 percent), "Nip/Tuck"'s Julian McMahon and Matthew Fox of "Lost" (12 percent).
The Ideal Man
Back on Earth amid mortals, "treating you well" (98 percent), a sense of humor (84 percent) and smarts (72 percent) were the traits that made her knees buckle, way ahead of attributes such as fantastic lover (46 percent), handsome face (45 percent) and fit body (22 percent). As for dazzling a girl with a Jimmy Choo shopping spree, a mere 11 percent said wealth enticed them.
Marital status or sexual preference aside, 67 percent said the one thing they couldn't overlook on a date were dubious odors (body or cologne) or a poor conversationalist (14 percent ), though 39 percent say they're willing to overlook a bad dresser. But go to the ATM first, guys�75 percent of women think the man should pick up the tab on a first date.
Bad Boys
Remember the "bad boy" in high school that was oh so enticing? Thirty-seven percent (down from the 58 percent who felt this way in high school) admitted they were still attracted to a Colin Farrell type. As long as he's about the same age as her because, Demi Moore/Ashton Kuchner notwithstanding, only 13 percent of women are looking for a younger guy.
Workplace Romance
Women know what they're looking for, but where do they look? A whopping 57 percent say they've dated someone with whom they've worked, with 11 percent of those who dated at work saying they've dated a boss! Buyer beware: more than half (51 percent) suspect or confirm they've dated a married man (one respondent said "His wife emailed me a copy of their marriage certificate") while 23 percent suspect they've dated a gay man ("It was 1985 and his favorite bands were Air Supply and Wham").
The Sex
So what about sex? Sorry, there is no subtle way of getting into this. Nearly three quarters of the women say they've faked orgasms, but only 12 percent believe their partner ever did the famous deli scene from "When Harry Met Sally." Forty-eight percent say sex a few times a week is the right number, with 19 percent suggesting every other day and 18 percent saying once or twice a day was the optimum amount.
Breakups
Relationships can end and, when discussing their last break-up, women cited most often that he "couldn't commit" (28 percent), "cheated or had wandering eyes" (26 percent), and he was "more into himself than me" (21 percent). As for those couples women would most like to see reunite, Sheryl Crow and Lance Armstrong led the way, followed by Hilary Swank and Chad Lowe.
Courtesy of ARA Content
Article Source: http://www.womensweb.ca/k2news/index.php?Action=Full&NewsID=837
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